So we have all now become numb and bombarded by the city of Austin, Texas perpetually being on the "Best of Lists." i.e Best Place to Live, Best Place for Millennials, Best Place for Live Music etc...blah blah we get it, Austin Texas is sooo cool, and has obviously been discovered. We don't need the public relations campaigns anymore. The following piece highlights some reasons why Austin is not cool.
As a local Austinite born at Seton Hospital on West 38th in the year of 1981, I feel aptly qualified to write and disclose the warts and often overlooked problems with the city of Austin, Texas. On a side-note, locals like myself are now known as Unicorns.
In the words of CNN's Chris Cuomo, "let's get after it."
The weather is too damn hot, everlasting and often Houston level humid. The summer in Austin, Texas commences in late April and runs hot, long, sticky, sweaty and bothersome until November. Air Conditioning Bills anyone? Some cities possess seasons. Supposedly Earth has 4 known seasons. In Austin, Texas we have 2. Either Hot or Not Hot at the moment.
The housing costs and general cost of living is expensive. While larger cities such as San Antonio, Houston and Dallas Texas have some actual affordable traditional housing within the city limits, Austin does not. Every single neighborhood in Austin, Texas has gentrified, or is currently in the process of being gentrified. There are no longer any Central Austin neighborhoods to buy low and sell. In Austin, Texas the real estate game has become buy high, hold, rent out and sell higher. Restaurants have become expensive, bars have even raised prices. Heck, there's even a plethora of bougy pricey grocery stores, for example Wholes Foods, Central Market, Traders Joes', etc
A description catchphrase I've heard on the street to describe Austin, Texas is....drum-roll, the White Disneyland. Why can Austin, Texas be mockingly described as White Disneyland? Well, it's not a very diverse city. It is not ethnically diverse. The majority of daily residents appear to be of Anglo ancestry to me? Historically Austin, Texas was segregated by both the Interstate 35 Highway and lands South of the Colorado River. Austin aka White Disneyland is plastered with white culture and accouterments. For example Yoga Shops, Sheep's Milk Yogurt, Coffee Shops on every corner, Indie Book-stores, Pretentious Restaurants, Rich People, Woke Politicians and left leanings. It is a place where white visitors and new residents feel safe and welcomed, while we don't really know about the remaining non-white folks. Can Austin improve its congeniality for all humans? In the Modern Age of Black Lives Matter, it is time for structural change and massive improvement for all minorities, especially our fellow Black Americans and Citizens. I went to the 1st Saturday Rally in front of the APD's East 7th Downtown Building, and got photos to prove it. KXAN published them. Click here. I proudly wore my #7 Kaepernick kneeling Afro T-Shirt last weekend at the Bars, and will proudly continue to do so! BLM!
Austin, Texas is a professional purgatory. Looking to reach the professional pinnacle in your field? Austin, Texas is the mid-major Dayton college basketball team of corporate life. Sure, there's some big time tech and nationally recognized companies, but Austin, Texas is probably still considered their satellite office location.
Are you a musician, actor or artist? May I suggest Nashville, Tennessee where stars are made. Los Angeles California where the Oscars are given out. Or perhaps the Chelsea neighborhood in Manhattan, where art gallery crawls get famous artists like Chuck Close out and about drinking wine, and yucking it up with fans. Austin, Texas is a professional 3 trick industry pony. We've got Real Estate, Government and Entertainment. Are you interested in the energy field? Houston Texas is 2.5 hours away. Looking to climb the national corporate ladder, there's Dallas Texas up north. Sorry folks, but Austin, Texas is a professional purgatory and you'll be happily stuck until your own professional or creative ceiling holds firm.
All of the legendary residents, history makers and iconic venues are either dead, gone, demolished, moved, closed, or have been replaced by some yuppie who's parents gave them the money. For example:
- Stevie Ray Vaughn, the Electric Guitar Playing G.O.A.T.
- Leslie the homeless cross-dressing mayoral candidate
- Dale Americana Musician Watson went to Memphis, Tennessee
- Lance Livestrong Armstrong moved to Vail, Colorado
- Matt Bongo McConaughey left the Austin City Limits for a Westlake retreat.
- Mack "College Football Natty" Brown scooted over to North Carolina
- Liberty Lunch Music Venue was demolished
- Armadillo World Headquarters, now only available as an exhibit in a Museum
- Magnolia Cafe Lake Austin (Where President Obama meets young difference makers for coffee)
- Shady Grove Barton Springs Road (no more free unplugged @ the Grove Concerts)
- La Zona Rosa, Intimate Downtown Warehouse Live Music Venue
- Austin Music Hall. Now Home to a Glass Commercial Office Yuppie Hi-Rise
Austin, Texas has become culturally stagnant. The Tech Bros' have landed in Austin, Texas and are a love/hate phenomenon. The Tech Bro's are twenty and thirty something single playboy dudes, who earn $80,000 a year and up, while single handedly causing rents to rise citywide. How do Tech Bros' culturally contribute to the city's aura? I have zero idea. No idea. Send me a Tech Bro's cultural Austin enhancement story and I'll shut up on this. I'd love to be proved wrong. georgevance@gmail.com.
The OG Original 60s' and 70's long time residents have hardened, turned curmudgeon, and dare I say, capitalist republican? Yes, the city of Austin was sleepy, hippie, welcoming, young and fun in the 1960's and 1970's. The 60's and 70's decade of lore was the golden era of Austin cheap and slacker culture. The OG Austin residents who bought real estate cheaply or inherited their properties are now capitalist money vacuums. The OG Austinites are less welcoming, detest newness, construction, law changes, zoning updates and change in general. The city's core neighborhood NIMBY's (Not in My Backyard) have become hardened, more sedentary, stagnant and stuck in their ways. I think we should re-introduce these senior citizens to their younger more open-minded and generous selves.
People fall in and out of love with living in Austin; often in a transient and transitional way. As I personally bicycle around Lady Bird Town Lake, (which is illegal to swim in fyi) I see new fresh faces daily. People love to move from somewhere else in America to Austin, Texas. Full Disclosure, my current excellent girlfriend moved to Austin, Texas from Missouri. As a real estate agent I've helped tenants re-locate here from all around the country. For example Los Angeles California, New York City, Boston Mass, Washington D.C., Florida, and the geography continues. What I've noticed though, is that often these renters and new residents only inhabit Austin, Texas as full time participating residents for 2-7 years. At about the 5 year mark, these American transplants then become bored and have literally done the city. Next, they move away for new experiences and challenges. Austin, Texas seems to have a transplant shelf life of 2-5 years. The transplant who makes it past the 5 year mark, usually ends up buying real estate somewhere near Austin, developing a family and staying. So if you've asked your out of state friend to be your roommate, just realize it might be for 2 years max possibly.
The almost Championship level professional sports teams of the University of Texas, are just that, almost always there. Texas professional athletics are never the winning bride, always the bridesmaid. Texas Football can almost beat Oklahoma for the Big 12 Championship. OU's quarterbacks have 2, yes 2 of the latest 3 calendar year Heisman Trophy's. Texas College Basketball, proud to boast alumni NBA talent such as KD Kevin Durant, LA, Lamarcus Aldridge, Mo Bamba, Jarret Allen, Jackson Hayes, and TJ Final Four Ford, have now stooped to NIT Tournament Levels. While the Red Raiders in flatland Lubbock, Texas came 1 basket away from winning the National Championship vs. Virginia in the 2019 Final Four, Texas Basketball merely strives for an above water .500% winning percentage record in the strong, but over-rated Big 12 Basketball Conference. Maybe Austin's brand new MLS Soccer Team, the Austin FC will bring a renewed Championship level and professional national sports vigor to Austin, Texas. Time will tell.
Summary:
I wrote this article on a satirical, humorous jest and roast-esque whim. I just felt like getting some rips out and letting some thoughts fly. I've lived and worked in Austin, Texas for a long time. Maybe it's the no flying and travel conorovirus quarantine blues that's seeping in. In actuality, I do genuinely love daily life living in Austin, Texas. It is still a welcoming city. The pace of life here is both professional and recreational. The quality of life in Austin, Texas is worth repeating. Time moves at a calm, normal pace. Thanks again for reading my creative, impromptu attempt at writing.
Best Life Regards
George Vance McGee
georgevance@gmail.com
Author of "The Nation We Live In, a collection of essays and short stories."
The OG Original 60s' and 70's long time residents have hardened, turned curmudgeon, and dare I say, capitalist republican? Yes, the city of Austin was sleepy, hippie, welcoming, young and fun in the 1960's and 1970's. The 60's and 70's decade of lore was the golden era of Austin cheap and slacker culture. The OG Austin residents who bought real estate cheaply or inherited their properties are now capitalist money vacuums. The OG Austinites are less welcoming, detest newness, construction, law changes, zoning updates and change in general. The city's core neighborhood NIMBY's (Not in My Backyard) have become hardened, more sedentary, stagnant and stuck in their ways. I think we should re-introduce these senior citizens to their younger more open-minded and generous selves.
People fall in and out of love with living in Austin; often in a transient and transitional way. As I personally bicycle around Lady Bird Town Lake, (which is illegal to swim in fyi) I see new fresh faces daily. People love to move from somewhere else in America to Austin, Texas. Full Disclosure, my current excellent girlfriend moved to Austin, Texas from Missouri. As a real estate agent I've helped tenants re-locate here from all around the country. For example Los Angeles California, New York City, Boston Mass, Washington D.C., Florida, and the geography continues. What I've noticed though, is that often these renters and new residents only inhabit Austin, Texas as full time participating residents for 2-7 years. At about the 5 year mark, these American transplants then become bored and have literally done the city. Next, they move away for new experiences and challenges. Austin, Texas seems to have a transplant shelf life of 2-5 years. The transplant who makes it past the 5 year mark, usually ends up buying real estate somewhere near Austin, developing a family and staying. So if you've asked your out of state friend to be your roommate, just realize it might be for 2 years max possibly.
The almost Championship level professional sports teams of the University of Texas, are just that, almost always there. Texas professional athletics are never the winning bride, always the bridesmaid. Texas Football can almost beat Oklahoma for the Big 12 Championship. OU's quarterbacks have 2, yes 2 of the latest 3 calendar year Heisman Trophy's. Texas College Basketball, proud to boast alumni NBA talent such as KD Kevin Durant, LA, Lamarcus Aldridge, Mo Bamba, Jarret Allen, Jackson Hayes, and TJ Final Four Ford, have now stooped to NIT Tournament Levels. While the Red Raiders in flatland Lubbock, Texas came 1 basket away from winning the National Championship vs. Virginia in the 2019 Final Four, Texas Basketball merely strives for an above water .500% winning percentage record in the strong, but over-rated Big 12 Basketball Conference. Maybe Austin's brand new MLS Soccer Team, the Austin FC will bring a renewed Championship level and professional national sports vigor to Austin, Texas. Time will tell.
Summary:
I wrote this article on a satirical, humorous jest and roast-esque whim. I just felt like getting some rips out and letting some thoughts fly. I've lived and worked in Austin, Texas for a long time. Maybe it's the no flying and travel conorovirus quarantine blues that's seeping in. In actuality, I do genuinely love daily life living in Austin, Texas. It is still a welcoming city. The pace of life here is both professional and recreational. The quality of life in Austin, Texas is worth repeating. Time moves at a calm, normal pace. Thanks again for reading my creative, impromptu attempt at writing.
Best Life Regards
George Vance McGee
georgevance@gmail.com
Author of "The Nation We Live In, a collection of essays and short stories."
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